Part of the process of being a long-term international student in New Zealand is jumping through regulatory hoops like health exams, confirming you have enough money in your bank account, etc. Because I’m studying in the country longer than 2 years, it was required for me to have a criminal background check performed by the FBI to make sure I don’t have criminal records within any jurisdictions of the United States. No problem, kind of an annoyance, but I figure with all the terrorist databases they’re putting together these days, it’ll be a snap for them to handle my little request.

Well, not really. Their performance was less than stellar in this regard. After paying $45 and mailing my finger prints to them on April 17 of this year, I just now received confirmation that I am in fact not a criminal (at least in the US.) That’s good to know, but it would’ve been nice to know sooner than 4 months later. Oh, but I’m sure you’re thinking that they needed all that time to write up an official looking letter and actually sign something. Well, not really. All I got back from them was my original finger prints with little more than a stapled Post-It note attached saying “No Criminal Record.” The envelope is the most official looking thing of all, and I’ll be lucky if the NZ Immigration Service doesn’t laugh in my face when I take this to them. Now you’re probably thinking that they have a lot of other important things to deal with, and I’m just bitching for the hell of it. Well, not really. Their little note was actually dated May 22, 2007, so basically someone took care of it, forgot about it for two months, and then decided to mail it to me.

I would like to make one thing very clear though. I have every confidence that the US government is constantly looking for ways to increase the service level to its citizens. I’m sure their marketing guys are scanning the blogosphere right now, will read my post, and quickly brainstorm a number of ways to prevent this from happening again.